im so sorry! But i have great news!!

 I'm sorry for not writing in a while :( But i have great news!
I rode poco today! So heres how it went:
I kept putting him off and fearing the day that i had to sit on the tall horse and get bucked off because i was too chicken to get on when he was young, so i bucked up(no pun intended) and decided i would ride. Yesterday.
I was going to yesterday, but i woke up after having a good dream about riding him, and i looked out the window, thats when everything went downhill. It was muddy and wet, so it gave me a pretty good excuse not to ride. No, i was not being a wuss because of mud, it was because the footing was like trying to run uphill after a mudslide, you try it, not so fun, is it now :) So anyways,no riding yesterday.
This morning i awoke to a slightly dryer, still mudslide-like weather day and tried to figure out what i was going to do. I have a paddock, and then a small, 40x10 foot "round" pen area that i feed in and do some small ground work in, and this is covered by moist hay, so it had great footing, and it gave me no excuse for not riding.
So i got together the halter, lead, reins and my mounting block and stepped up to the plank.
I brought brooks to hold onto Poco so if anything could happen, brooks could help.
Things didn't start as good as i had planned. He wouldn't come to me when i called, so i had to trek through the MUD and go get him, leading him by a carrot(daisnaid=do as i say, not as i do), i was stupid when i did this, so when something happened behind me, and he kinda spooked into a canter, i ran for the security of the fence while he slid to a stop in front of me. My adrenaline pumping, i gathered the courage to catch him, just when he decides to be sneaky and not let me. So i calmed him and finally caught him, and caught my breath :)
So I got on the mounting block to start laying my weight on him, but was too nervous. I stood there, with half my weight on him for a few minutes, while i "waited for him to calm down" when it was really me who needed calming down. I finally got up enough gumption to swing my leg over. So i said a short prayer and swung it up. Balancing myself onto his raised-backboney back(he's not skinny, just has a slightly raised backbone, as with any horse) i sat there, taking deep breaths. He took a few, un-wanted steps forward, but was steadied by brooks, and by me pulling slightly back :)
I sat on him and it felt wonderful. it was like a dream!
I slipped off after a minute of sitting there and flung my shaky arms around his neck, crying.
I took off the halter and floated into the house, and then screamed to my family!
I wanted to ride again, but there was not much room to move, and we had to go running, so i didn't get the chance.
Some of you know about this already, but for those of you who dont, Last year, i got my first horse. I was greener than grass in the middle of spring! I had NO clue what i was doing! neither did my horse! So, lets just say i was very traumatized after being bucked, stepped on, kicked, and hurt right in the heart so many times. So when i say im scared to ride, I have a good reason. Thunder was a terrible hurt, but a great learning experience. I now know more than i ever would have if i didn't get him in the first place. So please do not judge and give me some slack, i was(am) young! :P



All in all, it was a very productive day, and i hope tomorrow will be the same :)
<3 <3